Should I Stay or Should I Go

Reasons I am Ready to Leave Tbilisi:

• My apartment is infested with spiders and I can't deal with it
• My bed is basically a wooden packing pallet and I want to sleep in the best bed ever aka my mom's house
• It's hot as balls, and only getting hotter over the next few weeks
• Some people are being douche canoes and I'm realizing that people I thought were friends were really just using me
• I want Indian buffet and stuffed crust pizza and Chipotle and smoothies
• I can't cook anything here as I have no oven, my kitchen is the size of a matchbox, and my kitchen tools consist of like 3 wooden spoons and a bowl
• I need good drip coffee
• **I am dying to see my girlfriends and family**

Reasons I'm not Ready to Leave Tbilisi:

• I'm finally hitting my stride at work
• I'm finally making potentially useful professional connections
• I (was) totally on a roll with going to the gym
• Fall is apparently magical here (hello, grape harvest season)
• There is still so much unexplored in the country as a whole and in Tbilisi
• I haven't eaten enough Georgian food and I will miss it 
• I don't want to go back to school and deal with stuff like getting furniture for my apartment, buying textbooks, Batten math boot camp, and being on Grounds
• I am dreading reopening my planner and going back to the grind of daily minutiae
• I love speaking Russian, and I love hearing Georgian
• I LOVE pretending I'm a real adult, and thinking of my future life and potential trajectories 

Bonus non-categorized:

• I'm weirdly starting to think like a Georgian girl, like, hunting for a husband...and I'm kind of okay with it...but that's super scary so I probably need to get back to America where I'm unattractive and unremarkable STAT
• I am SO sick of living my life in a constant countdown. Nothing is ever open ended, nothing is ever up to my own discretion, nothing is ever semi-permanent. I live in a series of temporary cycles, always waiting for the end, and it's giving me a mother f**king ulcer. I want to be able to stay somewhere until I'm bored with it, I want to be able to leave when I'm finished, not when my calendar tells me it's time to move onto the next cycle...

How to Field Marriage Proposals while Traveling

Sometimes it happens. You're traveling (especially as a woman alone, but not exclusively), and you meet a guy. Maybe it's a fun weekend fling, or maybe the interest is more one-sided, but suddenly the topic of marriage comes up. Usually prefaced by one of these subtle questions...

"Do you think you could ever marry a person from this country?"


"Our skin tones combined would make a gorgeous baby"

"Wouldn't you like stay here and find a local husband?"

Whether your hand is solicited directly or through an intermediary (usually an aunt or grandmother), it's important to deal with the situation appropriately. 
In any case, if the proposal is respectful and honest, you should approach the situation with equal respect along with cultural sensitivity. 
So let's swallow our ethnocentric impulses and try to put ourselves in someone else's shoes.  


Of course, an appropriate reaction depends on the proposal...if it's mostly a joke, you might be able to just laugh it off. If it's aggressive or threatening, or you feel uncomfortable or in danger (say, your taxi driver keeps pulling over on a deserted highway to beg you to marry him), then you need to be prepared to get the hell out of there.

Regardless of whether you want to marry the person, or what reasons you have, the first thing that will likely come to your mind is "that's crazy!"
While in Western European/American cultures, such a proposal may in fact be crazy, it is only so because it runs counter to cultural expectations and norms. There's nothing inherently crazy about the idea, is there? Take yourself out of your cultural context. Apart from the "weird" factor, which comes mainly from what experiences you already have had and what expectations they've built, what are the actual reasons you are not interested in marrying this person?

If You Don't Want to Marry Them...


Think of the real, deep reasons why you don't want to accept the proposal.
Don't make excuses that aren't true, unless they won't accept your refusal. 

Resist your first impulse to say "no, that's crazy!" because it sounds so different than any experience you've so far had or seen.
Accept the cultural differences that have led to this situation, try to understand the proposer's desires and reasoning. 
Explain calmly and clearly why you are not interested in the proposal, without being condescending or judgmental. 
Try to not let the proposal affect the way you think of and respect this person, if your prior relationship was otherwise positive. 

Don't back down from your decision because you feel bad for them.
If they are interested in marriage as a way to move them out of a negative situation in their home country, suggest other ways you'd be willing to help, like helping them apply for a green card
If you're certain of your decision, don't make it seem like you're not by saying things like "maybe in a year or so" or "let's talk about this later"- it will only build a false hope and make it more difficult for both of you in the future. 


If You Do Want to Marry Them...


Think of your relationship out of the context of your current location or trip- are you getting caught up in the romance and excitement or could this relationship really stand on its own?

Think of (and discuss) the practicalities: where will you live? What kind of work will you do? Do you share the same cultural values? Do you share the same vision for what your life will look like in 5 years? In 50? (consider the story of "The White Massai"- Corinne Hofmann)




On a Personal Note...
I have been proposed to a few times, and interest has been hinted at innumerably. A favorite line of questioning in Georgia goes: 
"Do you like Georgia? Do you like Georgian food? Are you married? You can stay here! I have a son/nephew/cousin/friend you can marry!"

I was proposed to by a Chechen man who already had one wife...he then proceeded to tell me how beautiful I would look in a hijab.


I was proposed to by the sweetest, most sincere and emotional Chechen body builder- he offered to wash dishes and cook even though it's a shame for men to do those things in Chechen culture, because I had such a "beautiful smile"

I was proposed to by a man who speaks barely any Russian and no English, through three women who served as translators and character witnesses for him. When I declined, he said he'd be willing to just get married on paper for now so he can come to America, and then he would just wait for me to be ready to marry him for real.

GIRLS ONLY: an Exposé on Georgian Men

NO BOYS ALLOWED.
If you're a boy, and you insist on reading this, you can't get mad at my blatant objectification of men and probable sexism. Well, you can get mad, but you have brought it upon yourself.

Here it is, what you've all been waiting for, the complete guide to Georgian men...okay, not really. This is just a couple of observations I've made over the past few weeks about the less fair sex. Simply thoughts and personal opinions, and if you find anything here offensive, you're probably right, but sorrynotsorry. 


There are three categories of Georgian (young) men. 

• 30-40% are extremely hot
• 10-20% are average, normal
• the rest are really, really scary

Let me elaborate...the hotness is pretty self-explanatory. I wish I could post pictures of real people I know, but I post this blog on my Facebook and things would get awkward very fast, so you're just going to have to trust me. In my Faces of Georgia series you can see how varied the phenotype is, but in general Georgian hotness has an aggressive masculinity to it, a roughness. There are more or less no preppy guys or 'metro-sexuals' and fashion is quite different than in the US, so adjust your expectations accordingly. One very common look is angular features (read: chiseled jaw, strong cheekbones), dark hair, maybe some stubble/5'o'clock shadow, brilliant blue-green eyes. Dark hair is most common, followed by light brown, and I've seen more gingers than expected (like 15), but natural blonde is very rare. I've also noticed a lot of men with very lush lips. 

Exhibit A: pro-footballer turned politician, Kakha Kaladze

The second group is normal. These men are clean, nice looking, probably friendly. They seem approachable and potentially fun and interesting, but no immediate thirst develops upon sight. They sometimes have very big noses, are super skinny (rarely do I see overweight young men), or have terrible haircuts (more on this later). I would definitely be friendly with a guy like this who approached me, but likely wouldn't try and approach him or garner his interest.

This third category is interesting, because it can sometimes straddle the line with the first group. I've seen lots of men who are very physically attractive, but have some kind of mannerisms, attitude, or vibe that is intensely unsettling. The defining factor is often the stare: Georgian people stare like no other, it's just not considered as rude in this culture as in the US. There are different types of stares, some significantly more creepy than others. If a hot guy looks at me, that's great, that's exciting, but if he looks at me with an intense desperation and slight anger like I'm the high school diploma he never earned...red flag. These men are scary AF. The extreme end of the spectrum is men covered in prison tattoos, missing teeth, gold teeth, or just very yellowed (ahem, cigarettes) and crooked; dirty, clothes way too tight, usually heroin-addict-thin, black fingernails, and just an overall grimy, slimy appearance. You can find these men: slinking around highway underpasses, riding the metro in the middle of the day (shouldn't you be at work?), smoking outside mini-markets, and selling fruit and old car parts at Didube (I think this is their headquarters)!

One other feature I'll mention is body hair, because that's unavoidable. I went to the beach the other day and got a pretty wide survey. There are quite a few men who just have a smattering of hair on their chests, but I didn't see anyone completely hairless on their upper half. There are also many men who are just unfortunate. I mean, body hair is definitely not a bad thing. Women have different tastes in how much hair is ideal (but actually, men, f that, who cares what girls think? Focus on being confident and happy in whatever body you have, regardless!), and different guys pull off looks differently, but sometimes it's a bit shocking. Like, how do you even get any air or light through that forest? Chest, back, shoulders, arms...also, unibrows are trending. Just be aware, ladies.

pretty typical body hair distribution pattern

These categories are really only useful when applied to younger men, because an entirely new category develops for older men...

Even the hottest Georgian boys very quickly drop into manhood suddenly and unforgivingly. They usually peak between the ages of 17 and 23 (it actually makes me feel kind of creepy how attractive I find some of these 19 year-olds), then, unfailingly, their hairlines recede, their stomachs expand, their backs grow more rounded (and hairy), their foreheads crease. It's aging, it's not unique to Georgians or men, but here it tends to happen earlier and more suddenly, and in a uniform wave. I correlate this shift with the shift into the "real world." When he gets his first real office job, the process begins. 

I'll call this the Georgian dad-bod, but without any kind of sexual appeal. Here are some great examples:

the dad bod emerges
 

this is, in fact, not a stock photo, but a FB profile pic

this hairline is a favorite

Georgian men's haircuts. I would REALLY like to use some personal pictures here, but while this post may be kind of mean, it's not that mean. There are three main tragic haircuts:
1. Very short but with thin, scraggly bangs...wtf 
2. The Dima Bilan mullet 
3. He's bald or almost bald (this happens, I get it, not really a problem, but still probably not the ideal look for most people)

Dima's bangs are nearing the danger zone, but not quite

the offending bangs are something like this

The infamous Dima mullet...the Eastern European young man's equivalent of "The Rachel"
Also note: this picture is from a website called Cool Mens Hair...

*full disclosure, despite his hair missteps, I am completely in love with Dima Bilan.

Additionally, lots of Georgian men seem to have these thick, dark, luscious eyelashes that look like they just stepped out of a CoverGirl mascara ad. 

Most guys have pretty normal, even, dare I day, attractive facial structures- it's just the styling that can be off. Bad facial hair or hair cuts, terrible clothing, weird vibes, they don't take care of their bodies, etc...

Are the photo restrictions for this post driving you crazy too? It's quite hard to find pictures online, as Googling "Georgian men" is usually just pictures of random people whose pictures were used in some article relating to the US state. My Faces of Georgia project is finally launched! Additionally, please feel free to stalk browse my facebook (look for last names ending in -shvili or -dze) or, for your viewing pleasure, here are some shots I got permission to use. Of course, I won't categorize or comment on them  ;)

(the guy on the left is not Georgian)

So, if the Georgian man appeals to you, or is just intriguing, come on over to beautiful Tbilisi! I'll give you a tour, feed you, and absolutely find you a husband- just give me half an hour to ask around.

The Balancing Act and my Bitch Day

When I was living in Russia last year, I wrote an article for the School of Russian and Asian Studies website on the 6 Biggest Culture Shocks in Russia. One of the things on the list was the difficulty of balancing being a local and being a tourist, and this is a challenge I am also facing here in Tbilisi that I want to talk a bit more about.

When I moved to St. Petersburg, I moved to St. Petersburg. I told myself I wasn't studying abroad, wasn't going on vacation, wasn't taking a 'trip,'- I was moving and starting a new life. I did this to force myself out of my shell, to force myself to integrate more deeply and honestly into the community, to reject my natural tendency to be lazy and sit at home alone, and it absolutely worked. I built a life in St. Petersburg, cultivated a circle of friends, and developed a comfortable daily routine. I was so, so happy. 

And then I left. Imagine creating a life that you love, where you feel full of potential, constantly active and engaged in your life, not just coasting along on expectations and traditional paths. Imagine seeing so many brilliant possibilities in front of you- opportunities to grow and improve yourself, develop your career, to strengthen your spirit. Imagine being brimming with hope and peace...and walking away from it. 

It seemed so arbitrary, so forced, and so unfair. Why would I leave a place I had finally found happiness? A place I felt I still had so much room to grow? A place I saw my future? 

Well, I still need a college degree. Despite learning many things in Russia, including how to dress for -25 C (-13F), how to pass exams without actually taking them, how to take stealth pictures of military and police stuff, how to play baseball on an abandoned soccer field frequented by junkies, how to look past nationality and ethnicity and see someone's most essential self, how to deal with baseless racism and hatred, and getting REALLY good at charades, I still need my diploma. I know UVA still has a few things to teach me, and in the two years I have left there, I will continue to grow and learn, but it was a very difficult transition. 

Anyway, the reason I bring it up is because that impulse to fully integrate and assimilate is still strong in me. I can't be a tourist for more than a few days, because I hate tourists...a more introspective post on that probably very self-important view later. I want to be a local, I want to blend in, I want to be seen as having some credibility and be accepted into society as a valuable member, not an interloper. Of course, this is nearly impossible, but the goal is to get as close to "local" status as possible. Go to as many supras as I can, learn the language (at least a few words), learn how to correctly toast, learn in what stores to buy what, learn how to dress, how to walk on the street, how to carry myself.

Here's what I wrote about the balance last year...

"There will be plenty of days where you are a tourist – on a group tour of the Hermitage, walking tour of Red Square, bus trip to a suburb – and there will be other days when all you want is to blend in like a local. Constantly seeing your city through a tourist’s eyes is a blessing, a wonderful way to be constantly entertained and fulfilled, especially if you are living in one of the world’s great cities! Of course, after months living in the city, you also want to broadcast to the world that you’re a pro, an expert, and definitely not as green as those backpackers with a giant map snapping 100 pictures in front of the Kremlin…

Especially in Russia where blending in usually entails wearing your emotionless facemask and walking like a model down the catwalk, it can take a toll on your emotional state, exhausting you and breaking down the baby-deer sense of wonder that characterized your honeymoon phase. One of the most crucial aspects of success in Russia is learning to balance these two personas – the wide-eyed tourist and the street-smart local – and learning when to use which one to make the most of your time here."

seeking balance like a Russian gymnast

Georgia is very similar in the way women carry themselves. To blend in, you must dress a certain way (I would describe it as conservatively stylish, subtly sexy), walk fast (but not as fast as in St. Petersburg) and look straight ahead, not take pictures (especially not with your iPhone 6), and generally not be 6 ' tall...so in that respect alone, I am already clearly a foreigner. I can, at least, look like I live here and am not a tourist, and that requires exhibiting a degree of aloofness, looking unaffected. It's quite challenging because I am honestly very affected by this city, this country, these people- constantly surprised. I also can't help but smile and this basically broadcasts to people that I'm not just foreign but also probably a bit crazy.

The biggest difference between St. Petersburg and Tbilisi in this balancing act is that in St. Petersburg, everyone is kind of self-important, whereas in Tbilisi people are much more low-key. The attitude towards Americans is also quite different- in Georgia, being American is still considered cool, and even prestigious. There is a large community of expats which I avoid because the stereotype of being an American here is that you probably work for the embassy or a big international company and you're probably making bank with your western-level salary- I am in fact on a very tight budget, so for that reason alone I don't want to be put in that category which is basically just asking vendors to overcharge you. I also want to stand out from other Americans because I want to be invited into circles of Georgians- if I already have an expat circle, it's harder to be available and open to the local communities I want to join. Additionally, Americans are generally pretty obnoxious and can be very culturally insensitive- I'm obnoxious enough as it is, I don't need to also be associated with the loud, drunk, English-yelling, money-flashing American crowd.

That being said...today I woke up feeling like a total bitch.It's probably because I got 5 hours of sleep, but I just felt angry and mean. When I got to work it got even worse as I was forced to stop and wait as the guards checked my documents. This happens usually once a week or less, and I understand it's a security precaution, but the guards have been explicitly told to let me in, and I know sometimes they don't recognize my face, but the guards this morning definitely knew who I was. I guess they were just in the mood to be authoritarian. In any case, I was very frustrated at having to wait for them to check that I was allowed in (which we all knew I was), and the system in general (just give me a freaking electronic pass!). I was snappy with the guards and went to my office angry. I also had basically no work to do, so the frustration just built as I watched Girls and ate Belvita crackers and I decided I needed to get out of the office around 3 pm. So I went downstairs, intentionally leaving my passport in the office, with my attitude 100% American.
Just for a few hours I wanted to lift my head up, to be confident and fully embrace my nationality, to turn my back on the cultural expectations here and my desire to assimilate that encourage me to blend in and stay quiet. I didn't want to try and stutter out Georgian, I didn't want to be polite, I didn't want to be sensitive and accepting of cultural differences, I just wanted to flash my iPhone, pretend I was that typical rich, important expat, and act like I was too good for the little things that bother me here. Every day I tolerate broken sidewalks, constantly almost getting run over, terrible customer service, bureaucratic red tape, and the lack of American creature comforts. Today, I decided to not make excuses for Georgia, to not be understanding or sympathetic, to be ethnocentric and bitchy and just let the chips fall where they may.

So, as I left the building I sassily told the guard to remember my face because I wasn't bringing my passport, I kept my eyes on my (very rare in Tbilisi) iPhone 6 as I catwalked down Rustaveli Ave, and I beelined towards the bastion of America on Freedom Square- Dunkin Donuts. 
I haven't been to a DD in several years, but I was craving cake and a frappuccino, and apparently "America runs on Dunkin," so I went for it. There is something weird about being in an American store in a foreign country- everything usually looks and tastes the same, like a portal to the States, and you half expect Americans to be behind the counter...but of course the employees are Georgian. I pulled no punches, though. Even if it was just a few minutes, I was in America and acted like it. Employees were cleaning the floor right in front of the cash register, literally hitting my feet with the mop, and I snapped at them in English I'm sure they didn't understand, but my tone was clear enough to send them scurrying away. I ordered with no pauses, no simplified vocabulary, no neutralized accent, and looked dead into the cashier's confused face with no empathy. 

My donut tasted like chemicals and plastic and I loved it. I could feel bald eagle wings flapping above me as I sipped my 'coolatta' (could they have come up with a stupider name?) and released the constant fear of broadcasting my foreignness to the world. For once, I embraced the stares- of judgement, confusion, hatred, jealousy, lust...I didn't look away, I didn't hide, and it felt so freeing. 

As much as I try to blend in, I will never fool anyone into thinking I'm Georgian. I am American. Although I usually shy away from the label, because I think it says too much and too little all at the same time, sometimes you just have to embrace the other-ness and have a bitch day.

Notes on Fashion in Georgia

If you read accounts of people who traveled to Tbilisi over the last two decades, one word overwhelms descriptions of clothing- BLACK. 

See this Moscow Times article from 2002.

In 2015, however, fashion is evolving. Tbilisians still love their black, to be sure. Particularly in cooler weather, black is chic, slimming, and effortlessly cool. In black, it's easy to evoke the stereotypical characteristics of the post-Soviet Georgian woman: beautiful, classy, disinterested, aloof, and too good for you. 

I have not, however, been surprised by the amount of black clothing here. I wouldn't have noticed any higher propensity for black than in the states if I hadn't been specifically looking for it. There are three main categories of black-wearers that, to the uninformed traveler might stand out as excessively black:

1. Widows 
Including old women begging, who are also probably widows. In fact, most older women are widows, due to men's much lower life expectancy- in 2008 it was 79 for women (not bad) but only 69 for men. Add to that the stresses and dangers of life in the Soviet Union and post-Soviet Georgia, including mandatory military service (in the last 80 years- WWII, Afghanistan, Georgian Civil War, South Ossetia and Abkhazia, Russo-Georgian War, NATO missions in Afghanistan and Iraq), economic crises, political uncertainty, alcoholism and drug use...etc. 

woman praying on the
metro in typical widow attire

I see significantly more old men here than in St. Petersburg, but it is still far below the number of old women I see daily.
The traditional Georgian custom for a woman who has lost a child or husband, sometimes even a cousin or nephew if they were particularly close, is to wear black in mourning for a certain period of time. Sometimes it's a few weeks, a year or two, or occasionally (especially with older women) for the rest of her life, remaining forever in mourning. 
In modern Tbilisi this custom has largely fallen out of fashion, and it is mostly old women you see in mourning clothes, but in some villages younger women still follow the practice as well.
Some Georgians think it is crazy for a woman to remain in mourning for long periods of time, resigning herself to solitude and black robes, but others see remarriage as disgraceful, and respect for the dead as the utmost priority. 

  




2. Hot young women
These women have their fingers on the pulse of fashion. Weather conditions matter far less than style- these girls are hot in every sense of the word. In general, women in the former Soviet Union place great importance on physical appearance, wearing makeup, high heels, and tight jeans even to run to the corner grocery at 7 am. If you don't look appropriately made up at work, expectations of your performance may be lower. At the gym, most women seem to take as much time post-workout showering, getting dressed, doing their makeup, and primping in the mirror as they did actually working out. 
Black is the new black.

3. Men
Men like wearing black. I don't have any insight into this. It's probably because it's effortless. 
I mostly see guys in black t-shirts hanging out on the street. 
In the office, people dress in normal western business attire of varying colors...if any Georgian men read this and can add something, please do. 

Some other fashion observations... 

I know Tbilisi is more conservative than where I live in the US, so I didn't bring my most low cut tops. That was probably a good idea, but more because it's just not the style. Women generally replace revealing cuts with revealing fabrics...I've seen sheer and outright see-through tops all over the place, supposedly in favor of simply removing that fabric altogether as is typical in the states. Perhaps surprisingly, skirts are about as short and tight as they are in the states for a night out. Not quite as provocative as in St. Petersburg, but high heels are essential for a night out, and showing off your legs is pretty normal. 
(one note: "going out" in Tbilisi is interesting, in part because there are way more men than women at most bars/clubs)

There is an odd trend of vests going on right now. I can't really explain why people think this is a good or even functional look. It is HOT outside (high 90s F, mid-high 30s C), yet I still see women throwing these vests on over their perfectly good stand-alone outfits. At first I thought it was a grocery store uniform...these vests are generally 3-4 inches longer than normal shirt length, sleeveless, with no buttons or anything on the front. They have no structure, seem to be cotton, and are generally brightly colored- green, blue, yellow, and black are popular. I saw a black-red reversible one yesterday. I think they might dress an outfit up, because I saw a woman wearing one at the theater, but you can really throw them over anything...I can't explain this.

Dark lipstick. I love it. I just bought some. I can't wait to try it out and see if I look more like a local! For example:

Georgia's (really kick ass) 2015 ESC entrant, Nina Sublatti

the ad for the actual lipstick I just bought

Highlights from Life in Tbilisi

I just wanted to collect and share a few stories that have happened in the past few weeks in Tbilisi!

Sunday with the Neighbors

 

Adjarian Khachapuri

One Sunday, I came back from a morning trip to the store and found all my neighbors in the yard. They asked me if I wanted to join them for some "adjaruli khachapuri," and of course I said yes! So we all piled into a few cars and headed to a restaurant where we ate an incredible amount of food...so much food. My neighbors are basically a big family- three couples, their combined 7 children, a 20-something single woman named Irina, and me. Interestingly, it's not weird at all, I feel very comfortable with them. They have adopted me into their circle, and take really good care of me. While at brunch, Goga (my landlord and all around good-guy) asked me if I had plans for the rest of the day. While I had a bunch of preparation to do for the next week at work, I didn't have any solid plans, so before I knew it, we were all back in the cars and headed north out of the city to one of the neighbor's dachas! The dacha is gorgeous- not just a little woodland hut and a vegetable garden like a lot of the dachas in Russia I've seen. It's a veritable mansion, newly built, with three stories, a wraparound porch balcony, in ground pool, fire pit with circle couch, a big back yard, and a little playhouse for the girls under construction. We played basketball for a while, and I've still got my high school talent haha I even taught 8 year old Natali how to shoot, and she made 3 baskets! My little baller prodigy <3
After basketball, I got a chance to ride (and drive) one of the quad bikes! It was so awesome; going to the dacha would have been worth it for just that experience. We then lit the fire, and sat around and ate khinkali and homemade bread and cold beer and mtsvadi (shashlik), and just chatted about Georgia and life. It was beautiful.

the dacha

dinner at the fire pit

quad biking with Goga

The German princess

One the way home from the dacha, it was casually mentioned that a princess lives in our yard/apartment complex...a princess...in our yard...
Apparently, the beautiful, traditional Georgian style wooden balcony in our yard belongs to an apartment currently being renovated for Gabriela von Hapsburg. According to Wikipedia, she has lived in Tbilisi since 2001 and been an art professor, viticulturist, and ambassador to Germany. Her ancestral titles are "Princess Imperial and Archduchess of Austria, Princess Royal of Hungary and Bohemia." Using those titles is illegal in Austria and Hungary, but she's still technically a princess, and also my neighbor, and definitely the most eminent person I've ever shared an address with!

Chairman Usupashvili 

Two weeks ago, Tbilisi Parliament hosted a week long NATO training course/conference, organized my Member of Parliament (and my boss) Tedo Japaridze. I got to attend the conference, and on the first day we toured the Parliament, and the delegation was greeted by Chairman of Parliament Davit Usupashvili. We took a group photo, lots of people schmoozed him, shaking his hand and introducing themselves...including me. When I introduced myself, though, I said my name and that I was interning for Tedo Japaridze, and he smiles, "oh, you're the American girl, yes?"
He knew me!!!
It was super exciting. He said that we will "definitely" see each other again, and he looks forward to working with me! It was a very cool moment, where I felt like I was finally becoming part of the team here at Parliament, and being seen as a valuable member with something to contribute.

Run in with the ambassador

Shortly after the tour the rest of the participants left for their hotel and I headed back to my office. Since I was left in a completely different wing of the building, however, I got super lost. I ended up wandering around for about half an hour. I found some interesting places, including a library and a media room and a lot of vending machines...but not my office. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself outside and realized I could theoretically just cut across the courtyard back to my wing, but there were barriers set up across the yard and guards everywhere and I was about to give up, when I saw my colleague Nino! She was walking with some men, and I waved to her, and she gave me the "just a minute" signal. I sidled up next to them, smiling and trying to look professional while she said goodbyes and put the men in their town car. As the car drove away, I noticed little American flags on the side view mirrors...turns out one of the men was the American ambassador to Georgia. Who knew.

Parliament- even larger than it looks

Охрана Любовь
(Security Guard Love)

After meeting seeing the Ambassador, Nino pointed me back to my wing, and one of the guards offered to guide me back through the maze of weirdly dark hallways, elevators, and velvet-lined staircases. While we were standing in the elevator, he tried to talk with me in Georgian, but quickly realized we had a language barrier. I said "ar vitsi kartuli" (I don't speak Georgian), but apparently he only heard my Georgian and not the actual words, insisting that I DO in fact speak Georgian. So he started chatting with me and I just smiled politely...then he asked if I had a Facebook. Well, obviously, everyone has a Facebook! But that was the wrong answer, because then he handed me his phone so I could find my profile on FB so we could become friends...
I guess I could have been rude to the Parliament security guard, and just walked away, but I was still lost and so I just typed my name and continued to awkwardly smile.
When I got home, I saw he had sent me several messages calling me beautiful and offering to teach me Georgian (supposedly so we could actually communicate and then of course get married). I just ignored the messaged, unfriended him, and cross my fingers everyday that I won't run into him at work.


Georgia- always weird. Always wonderful. 

and a pinecone for dessert

Adventures in Borjomi, Vardzia, and Akhaltsikhe 

This weekend I took a trip out west-ish to the Samtskhe-Javakheti region of Georgia. The places I visited are right on the border with Turkey, and the region is known for its low, panoramic mountains covered in dark forests full of evergreen trees and animals such as bears, deers, lynx, and foxes.

Yes, I went by myself, as every single person has asked me with shock...I wanted to go, and wasn't willing to waste one of my very few weekends I have left in Georgia to wait for one of my friends to be available. Plus, I like traveling by myself- freedom to do anything I want, make my own choices, be on my own schedule, and more maneuverability. 

I set off from Tbilisi on Saturday morning, and got a marshrutka to Akhaltsikhe. It was three hours of very hot, sweaty, bumpy roads, but the views were gorgeous and serene. Thankfully, the marsh wasn't that full. It was just me, a few old ladies, and three young hooligans. About halfway through the ride, one of the hooligans offered me a bottle of ice water, and I couldn't resist...which opened the floodgates of communication. The young guys constantly asked me to translate every English song that came on the radio, asked me about America, about my impressions of Georgia, invited me to shashlik and birthday parties, and bought me ice cream at the rest stop. Although I kind of just wanted to listen to my music and watch the countryside shoot by, it was a prime example of Georgian friendliness, and I can't really complain.

check out the holes in the rock- caves!

As soon as I got to Akhaltsikhe I immediately jumped into a taxi to Vardzia. For 40 lari ($18) I got a round trip to Vardzia (about an hour away), the driver waited for me to explore, plus a stop at Khertvisi Fortress and photo ops. 

Vardzia is an ancient cave city, built in the 12th century by Georgian King Tamar (a woman who gets the title of King because she was so bad ass). It has a long, complex history, and is currently home to monks! It's gorgeous and intriguing- hundreds of small caves hewn into sheer cliff faces, scattered all over the side of a mountain.

looking out from Vardzia

a tree inexplicably covered in chewed gum

locked door to Ananuri Church at Vardzia

Church of the Dormition- paintings from 12th century 

After Vardzia I stopped at the deserted and beautiful Khertvisi Fortress on the road back to Akhaltsikhe.

Khertvisi Fortress

Cows coming home for the night in Akhaltsikhe

Back in Akhaltsikhe, I needed to find a place to stay the night. I just wanted a cheap, simple guest house, and the taxi driver said he knew one place (which seems strange to me since there are like 30 hotels in this town), so we ended up at a small hotel on the edge of town. The proprietress, Lia, showed me one room that was fine, nothing fancy, but she wanted 50 lari for it...I made it clear that I wasn't able to spend more than 20, and went to leave, but instead she showed me a different room in the back of the building. It was weirdly isolated, located on a balcony above a yard filled with wet dirt and old tools, but it was clean enough and I was exhausted, so I agreed.

After a power nap, I went out to explore the town. I crossed the street to a little store, and asked a guy standing on the curb which direction was the city center. Long story short, I ended up in a car (with a half-shattered windshield and ripped out stereo system) with a random guy driving me to the city center, since apparently it was too far to walk. He offers to give me a mini-tour, so we circled the very small city (30,000 people), and he pointed out the sites. Then I asked him to point me to a cheap restaurant, and he did...but he also joined me. Most awkward meal ever. He literally ate one cucumber slice, and I scarfed down salad and shashlik and limonati as he just kind of watched...he asked several times if he was bothering me, but he was so nice, how could I tell him to leave me alone? He was very interested in America, so we chatted a bit, but it was mostly just me eating and pretending to be very occupied with my phone. 
My dinner partner dropped me at my hotel, and I extricated myself from his company. I ran into Lia on my way to my room and I mentioned that I planned on going to Sapara Monastery the next day- and of course she knew a guy. Turns out her nephew speaks really good English and has a 4-wheel drive and will take me to Sapara and give me a tour for only 5 lari ($2) more than a taxi would cost! 
I basically said give me his number, I'll think about it, but suddenly I'm sitting down, given coffee, and in less than 10 minutes the nephew, Davit, is strolling through the door.
Turns out that Davit is actually the bomb. He studied sociology in Ukraine, and we had so much to talk about! It was already around 10 pm, but he took me out to Rabati Castle and the little man made lake in Akhaktsikhe. We agreed to go to Sapara the next day, and he would only charge me for gas.

In the morning, Davit picked me up and we decided to add a stop to the tour and headed up Abastumani- a resort town from the Tsarist era that has largely fallen out of popularity and the guide books. Nowadays, most tourists are Georgian. The town was quaint and peaceful, and we drove up the the still-working astrological observatory for some gorgeous views of the surrounding valleys and a super sketchy cable car with mechanics from the 80s. We took a much needed coffee break and then headed onward to Sapara Monastery. 

Sketchy 1980s cable car control room at Abastumani

Cable car route...aka risk your life

Sapara was as gorgeous and spiritual as everyone says, and the road really was as terrible as everyone says. After exploring the 9th century complex, we just sat in the sunshine on an old wall overlooking the city and mountains and valleys. It was quiet except for the sound of the river bubbling right below, but invisible through the trees. I could have sat on that wall for hours. 

Davit on the wall

me on the wall

Everything ended up costing me 30 lari, I have no idea how that would compare to a taxi, but I think either way it was worth it to get the company and conversation of Davit! We talked a lot about Georgian culture and social issues and my research. It was a very cool day!

The only picture I took of Sapara...oops

My next stop was Borjomi. 
Adding Abastumani to the itinerary took some time, so I only had about 3 hours in Borjomi, but I think I saw everything I wanted to. You could definitely spend 2 or 3 days in the town, just relaxing and "taking the waters" and such. There are also several hiking and horse trails through the Park. With a population of just 14,000 Borjomi  is even smaller than Akhaltsikhe, but having been a resort/spa/sanatorium town since the late 1800s, is much better suited to tourists. Borjomi is famous for its mineral water, exported all over the world, and especially popular in the former Soviet Union. The water is a bit salty and sulfuric, but apparently chock full of beneficial minerals and nutrients, and has won several international awards.

Empty bottles for sale to fill with spring water

Filling bottles

Borjomuli River

Interestingly styled facades in the newly renovated town center

Cable Car in Borjomi city park

Borjomi City Park

I actually thought the Akhaltsikhe/Abastumani area was more scenic than Borjomi, but both are ringed by these heavily forested mountains, speckled with rocky outcroppings- neither place disappoints on that count. 
The marshrutka driver dropped me off close to the city park, one of Borjomi's main attractions. The park is huge, and well kept. The atmosphere is 1950s carnival meets tsarist sanatorium meets iPhone era. There are several carnival games like 'knock down the bottles' and 'shoot the water gun' as well as a Ferris wheel located at the top of the cable car. The cable car is a bit less sketchy than the one at Abastumani (AVOID THAT), but has spectacular views of the landscape. Apart from the Ferris wheel and a restaurant, there's really nothing at the top except for groups of screaming school children. It's a strangely captivating time warp, and for your sake, dear reader, I wish I was a better photographer...unfortunately you'll just have to take my word for it. I particularly enjoyed the pictures from the early 20th century, showing pre-Soviet aristocrats enjoying the resort. 

Pics from the early 1900s

After my stroll in the park and sampling the medicinal Borjomi waters, I stopped for lunch at a "restaurant" that was just in a house owned by two old ladies. They also sold me a jar of pine cone jam, a local specialty. Pine cones do not taste great- woody and kind of minty and bitter, but apparently they cure sickness and I've had a cold for the past two weeks so I'm willing to try anything at this point. During lunch I was playing with their adorable granddaughter, who was baffled by my stupidity as an adult who can't speak Georgian, and the women decided that since I'm good with kids, I must be ready to get married. The typical series of questions ensued- you like Georgia? You like Georgian food? You want to stay in Georgia? You must marry a Georgian man. Then, when they saw my cross necklace, their excitement went into hyperdrive. They got so excited that I am a kargi gogo (good girl) that they started thinking of who in Borjomi I could marry, and they were about to call people to come court me, but I managed to escape by saying I had to catch a marshrutka back to Tbilisi, but promising that next time I'm in Borjomi I will go back to them and let them find me a husband. So I can never go back to Borjomi. Georgia is always an adventure!

Other things to do in the Samtskhe-Javakheti region include: The Borjomi-Kharagauli National Park, the Mtsvane (Green) Monastery, Bakuriani ski resort town, Zarzma Monastery, and the Armenian towns of Ninotsminda and Akhalkalaki.